People Change
by AirgeadAgusFionn
Summary: The team finally tell (fake)Shiro that he's changed and should listen to them more. What they didn't expect was for him to take it badly and walk away. When Keith tries to find him again he says something to Keith which leaves the red paladin reeling. Keith just tries to surpress the memories his friend had brought up and is forced to realise promises are broken and people change.


**A/N~ TRIGGER WARNINGS. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY ANYTHING SUCH AS SELF HARM PLEASE DO NOT READ OR READ WITH CAUTION. PLEASE STAY SAFE.**

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The battle was hard and grueling. It lasted a few vargas before it even began to ease off and the ships stopped coming. They were all exhausted to the bone, dragging out each movement with the deep setted exhaustion, but they had to keep fighting until the end.

As the battle ended, Shiro had seemed happy with them for defeating the rather large fleet despite not taking Lance and Pidge's suggestion at the start, wanting it only to go as he planned. If he had just listened the battle would have been over sooner.

Keith can't remember exactly what was said when they reached the castle again, but he could remember that it was brutal. It was something about how Shiro should have taken their ideas rather than following only his own.

Shiro had changed. He was still Shiro, but not at the same time.

The Shiro he knew would take suggestions to heart, and use them to improve his own leadership. But as he said; Shiro had changed.

Keith knew he shouldn't be so bitter about it. Shiro had been through more than he could ever imagine, battling more PTSD than anybody on the team. They didn't exactly know all of what had happened under his time with the galra, and he didn't even think that Shiro knew everything either.

So he guessed he couldn't blame him.

Guessed.

But at the moment, all Keith wanted to do was go back to his room and ignore all the shouting, ignore all the ugly but honest comments that were being thrown around. He just wanted to leave the sickening air in the room and have more space to breathe.

But he guessed he couldn't have that.

"And Keith? You feel the same?"

Keith snapped his head up. His head was throbbing from when he was hit in the fight and only hurt more at the sudden movement, but what hurt more than the major headache was the look of pain pulling at Shiro's face. Well, he guessed he couldn't stay out of it now.

Keith blanched, "Shiro, you know that I value you as our leader. You were looking out for me since we met and everyone else since day one in space, and you know that we admire you…" Keith trailed off.

Shiro stood tall, looking at him with a new look in his eye. This look showed more stoic, less hopeful. "But…"

Keith couldn't look away from Shiro, knowing that the eyes of the entire room were on him and Shiro. He could feel the angry gazes pointed towards the black paladin, and a few concerned ones pointed towards him. Keith took a steadying breath, "I agree with them."

Hurt flashed across Shiro's face. "You all feel this way," he realised out loud. He glared at everyone in the room, but Keith and Allura were the only to avert their eyes under the heat of his gaze. "You all feel as though I could do more."

"Shiro…"

Shiro shook his head at him, eyes burning into Keith's, "Don't, Keith. I didn't expect them to understand, but I expected more from you."

Keith averted his eyes once more, shame burning at the back of his skull. He should have understood. Shiro was used to being told what to do by the galra, being forced into the ring and all, but Keith should have known better than to criticise him on something he worked so hard to get to.

Shiro shook his head at them, and turned through the door. The door shut with a swoosh behind him and the room was left in silence.

The air felt heavy and awkward in his wake, and it was getting harder to breathe with every passing second. Keith crossed his arms over his chest, not daring to look at his teammates. None of them had siad a word, and you could cut the silence with a knife.

He needed to get to Shiro. Keith turned and went through the same door Shiro did just moments ago, leaving the team behind in the observation deck. He didn't care that almost all eyes were on him as he left. He needed to find Shiro.

As he was turning the corner to the hall with the rooms of each paladin, he bumped into something hard.

Keith rubbed his head as the dizziness from jostling his aching head warned to knock him over. After he found his footing again he looked up. Black armour met his vision and Shiro's back stood in front of him.

"Sh…Shiro?" Keith's voice came out in ina breath as he rubbed at his head.

Shiro jumped at his voice and turned. He seems out of it but as his eyes locked onto Keith, he instantly zeroed in on anger.

"Keith, I don't want to see you," he spat.

Keith flinched. "What?" he asked, incredulous. He took a step back and his eyes widened. Where had this come from? Shiro hadn't ever been hostile like this towards him before. Had he pushed it too far this time? The shame burned at his skull again as Shiro's eyes hardened.

"You and I both heard what you said back there," Shiro took a step towards him, his entire posture tensed and on the side of defensive, "I thought I could count on you to see past what others said. You know me and how hard that battle was. It's not as easy to lead as they think so you should show some respect to those who actually can."

Keith's flinched at the last comment but his mind was stuck on what Shiro was saying.

Of course Keith respected him! He never stopped, and he never said he was a better leader. He was never a better leader than Shiro, always leading the team into trouble when he was. Even at his current state, Shiro was a better leader than Keith ever was. Nothing would change that.

Shiro narrowed his eyes at the lack of response, "See? You can't even stick up for yourself. Looks like I'm not the only one who has changed."

Keith finally snapped out of his trance. "No. I have always valued you as a leader bu—"

"Then fucking act like it!" Shiro cut in, voice harsh and unforgiving.

The two paladins stood there staring at each other for a second. Keith couldn't believe his ears. The team were right. Shiro had changed so much more than Keith had originally thought.

"You've changed too much," Keith finally said, tears pricking at the corner of his eye. No, don't cry.

 _He said he wouldn't cry._

Usually he'd be comfortable crying around Shiro… and hell, he was the only person he could let his guard down around, but lately his walls had been building itself back up with the way Shiro had changed.

He was harsher, and less like the brother he made at their first Garrison year.

Shiro breathed harshly through his nose. He brought his metal hand up and pinched at the bridge, right above the scar. "People change," he said, looking over his fingers at him in a glare, "and I always thought you'd be the first to know that. Don't you remember, or are you too fucking stupid to remember?"

Flashes of his father ran through his vision, flashes of a happy childhood that quickly turned dark. Of a man that was happy with his life but had turned to drinking and taking his anger out on the closest one to him. He told Keith that he was the reason his mother left, he was the reason his dad had to come home to nothing but a lonely house and a burden of a son every day, he was the reaosn he had to drink to forget. Keith had to hide the bruises for years until his father died.

Keith turned and ran.

Flashes of years of foster homes and violent families and other kids in the homes. Flashes of how his new parents were all happy and kind at the start, but slowly turned worse over the days he stayed. They slowly grew bored of having a new mouth to feed and took it out on him.

Shiro knew this more than anybody. He knew not to bring it up.

He knew.

When Keith reached his room he slid down the door the moment as it was closed and brought his knees into his chest. The tears that had been held back finally began to fall. It left streaks of water down his face as he buried his head in his knees.

It was too much repressed memories coming back at once.

It hurt.

God it hurt.

It hurt that Shiro had always known to steer away from the topic but still brought it up with no hesitation or remorse.

Keith guessed that that was what hurt the most.

Shiro just dug up those old memories knowing full well that they'd trigger him again. That they'd bring back a forgotten childhood. A childhood that was meant to stay forgotten and that Keith worked so hard on forgetting.

The light glinted off the purple gemstone on his knife, sending more realisation and pain through his mind. When had he even took it out?

He guessed that didn't matter.

The blade was light in his hands. The tears fell from his face and onto the blade.

His mother left him too. Back when his father had been kind, he told Keith stories of his mother. About how she loved him so much as a baby and had promised to never leave. What Keith still didn't understand was why she broke her promise.

Never leave.

His skin felt itchy, and his blood was too hot under his arms. It was too much.

Shiro had once made the same promise.

But people change.

The knife sat in his hands, a forever and constant reminder of that. People change, promises break and tears are shed whether or not you want them to.

Keith knew that old habits die hard.

The itch and pressure under his skin was too much to go ignored. He knew he shouldn't take up his old habits but all those old memories had just dug them up. As more memories flashed before him, he brought the tear stained blade up and drew it against his wrist.

Shiro promised.

He promised he'd never leave. He promised not to hurt him. He promised he'd never give up on him.

Blood welled up from where the blade touched. It wasn't enough to surpress the pain inside, so he drew the knife across his wrist again.

Pain welled and the blood dripped off the side of his wrist. It was a calming sensation in the dark, but only brought up more memories.

More memories of happy lives with new hopeful homes quickly turning sour and bitter. Memories of being called the gay orphan. The troubled child with abandonment issues. The promise he made not to cry but was breaking even at the second. The thought that if Shiro changed then so could Lance and Hunk and Pidge and Allura and—

Keith gripped the knife tightly in his hand. He didn't want to cut anymore. Where it used to help ground him with the pain, showing him that he was human and not just some dummy people needed to take their anger out on. It was a pain that he could do to himself. No one else could.

Now though, it was only bringing up more pain and making it worse.

A series of three knocks came at the door and Keith jumped. He stuck his bloodied knife back into its sheith which always sat behind his back in a hurry and shakily made his way to stand.

Oh god. What did Shiro want? Was it even Shiro?

He rushed to the bathroom and ran his wrist under the cold water. The water turned red and it washed down the drain. Too much memories of Keith doing the exact same thing overcame him. A few more knocks came outside the bathroom.

What if it was Shiro. He wasn't ready to face him.

Shiro had changed.

Keith had to force himself to suck in his breaths. They came harder and harder with each inhale.

"Keith? You okay buddy?"

Lance.

Keith exhaled slowly and shakily, but only gulped in more air. It was Lance. Never before was he so happy for Lance to be at his door.

"Yeah?" he called out, proud at how his voice came out strong and didn't break. The opposite of how he was feeling at the moment.

"You just ran off back there and I was feeling worried."

Lance was worried about him.

Keith grabbed the bandage he had left behind the mirror and wrapped it tightly around his arm. He didn't want anybody to see the fresh cuts on his hand. Hell, he didn't want to see them. Years back, before Shiro, he had promised himself that he'd ever do it again, but the sight of them, fresh and still hurting just showed how good he was at keeping his own promises.

Too many people broke their promises.

"Come in."

Keith walked out of the bathroom and saw Lance looking at him, worry evident on his face. "Are you… crying?"

Oh shit.

In all his haste, he had forgotten the tears on his cheeks. The tears from the broken promise, from the triggering words Shiro had spat at him. Keith averted his eyes to the ground and hugged his arms to his chest. The cuts stung with the pressure but he didn't care. He guessed he couldn't get away with it now.

He promised he wouldn't cry.

Lance had seen him. He'd make a laugh of his weakness. Or he'd scoff and walk out, realising that he didn't care about somebody so weak. So helpless.

A warm body pressed against his, and it took Keith embarrassingly long to realise Lance was hugging him. Keith slowly put his arms around the blue paladin, hugged back. More tears fell from his eyes and stained his cheeks. The tears were soaking Lance's jacket but he didn't seem to care.

Lance only hugged him back and Keith chocked up on how comforting it felt.

Keith couldn't remember the last time he was hugged properly. Sometimes his new family would pretend to hug him when the social worker came, but it wasn't genuine. Only a ruse.

Fake.

Lance whispered soothingly into his ear, and he could faintly hear Red's purring as white noise in his mind. "I'll always be around if you need help," Lance said, the hug nowhere near finished, "I promise."

People changed.

Promises were broken.

But as Keith hugged Lance back, a small part of him wanted to believe that Lance would keep his promise. That he wouldn't break it or change for the worse.

He could only hope.

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 **A/N~ Heheh? Can you tell that this fic was entirely a vent fic? No? Okay (: (: (: I just deal by pushing some suffering onto poor Keith, can ya tell? I'm sorry Keith.**

 **Please leave a comment on what you thought fam.**

 **~Blue**


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